It's all fun and games until someone shits on the carpet...

Warning: if you are easily grossed out or have some sort of problem with the words "poop" or "shit" I advise you proceed with caution...

I was going to sit down last night and type out a Five on Friday post for this morning because linking up and finding new blogs has become an obsession of mine lately but I got a little distracted.


A lot of things come along with having a baby and raising kids. The good, the bad and the ugly. I'm no expert and I know I've only been at this for a little over a year now but I've seen my fair share of all three. Mostly good, mind you, but last night it got ugly. And by ugly, I mean shitty. Literally.


You see, Gracyn hadn't pooped in 2 days. Not a huge deal but usually she's pretty regular and for her to not go for a couple of days was a little unusual. And when you're a mom, you notice things like your kid not popping. She didn't seem to be bothered by this or anything like that but I gave her a little juice with dinner hoping this would move things along, if you will. 

After dinner, Gracyn played while I cleaned up the kitchen. She got weirdly quiet so I went to find her. I turned the corner to see her standing very still and concentrating very hard. 

Pooping.

Good! She finished doin' her thang and we went upstairs to take a bath. We got up to her room and I peeled off her clothes down to her diaper. A very loaded diaper.

She ran towards her bookshelf while I put her dirty clothes in the laundry basket. As she was walking, she lost her balance and stumbled backwards and fell...

...straight on her bottom...

...with so much force...

...that SHIT literally exploded. Everywhere.

A shit bomb had just gone off.


I turn around to see poop surrounding my little girl. I immediately start sweating and pacing the room to figure out how I'm going to handle this one. She, of course, is just sitting there reading her book like nothing happened.

I yell for Justin.
No answer.

I take the book away.
She gets mad.

I try to soothe her without touching her because, well, there's shit everywhere.
Doesn't work.

She stands up.
No, please do not stand up.

She does a little dance IN THE POOP.
Feet now covered in poop.

She takes off towards the hallway.
Running.

Poopy footprints now cover the carpet.
Awesome.

I dodge the poop-prints and catch up to the poop-monster. I grab hold of her by the armpits, holding her body as far away from my person as I can.

I yell for Justin again, desperately asking for help and I make it to the bathroom to hose off the baby. Justin comes into the bathroom and I try to describe what I had just witnessed.

He stays with the baby to finish the bath while I arm myself with paper towels, stain remover and carpet cleaner. I spend the next half hour of my life scrubbing human poop stains out of the carpet and trying to mask the smell of shit that now permeates the 2nd floor of my house.

I'm happy to say everything was cleaned up and the smell dissipated over the course of the rest of the evening. I'm sure this won't be the last time I'm cleaning up poop and we've dealt with blowouts before but a blowout + a mobile toddler is a whole 'nother ballgame.

Next time I'll be sure to change her dipe right away. And maybe serve a little less juice, amiright?


By the way, these pictures have nothing to do with my story today but I wanted to post them because we've had a few nice days this week and exploring the world between our driveway and the mailbox after we get home in the evenings has been lovely.

And they helped break up all of the shit, no?

Happy weekend!

3 comments

  1. ahhhhhh hahahahahaha this was hilarious!! I can just imagine you pacing around the room wondering what to do next--loved it! :) Hey--at least she pooped!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for the laugh-out-loud read! It's a visual blog without the actual photos (G.'s a much nicer replacement). I'm just glad Justin was around to 'help' instead of Rufus. :)

    ReplyDelete