Adventures in Raising a Rufus... Vol. 2

My dog does so many asshole things that I could write a book. Instead I'll just make it a series of recurring blog posts with the same title where I can complain about all of the asshole things he does...

Rufus threw up 5 - count them - FIVE - times last night. WTF. Seriously. Five times. Five times we I (ok, Justin got up the first time but after that he was sound asleep...I'm jealous of the fact that he can fall asleep in .5 seconds flat and stay asleep through all of the commotion and the hell that was my night...) had to get out of bed to clean up dog vomit. I was thisclose to taking off his collar and opening the front door to let him run wild in hopes that he would never, ever, ever come back. Ever. I am so over it. Ok, deep down I know he was sick or something and obviously not feeling well but really!??!!? FIVE TIMES?!?!

In keeping with the theme (and sorry if this is reaching your vom-quota for the week year your life but...) Rufus threw up a sock again the other day. Justin was the first one home so he got to clean up that little surprise. And it was his sock sooooo..serves him right I guess?

"Just sittin' here, thinking of what I'm gonna throw up next..."
Rufus threw up yet another pair of my underwear last week. I was the first one home so I got to clean up that little gem. But! I'm pretty sure Justin was the one who left the closet door open giving Rufus full-on access to my underwear drawer so I'm gonna go ahead and blame this one on him too... ;)

Anytime I need Rufus to do anything, he goes dead weight. Completely limp. I could kick him (don't worry, I don't actually kick him...hard anyway...), drag him across the floor, pretend to get him a treat, actually get him a treat or knock on the door and...nothing. He avoids eye contact too so I know he hears me and I know he knows that I want him to go outside or get in his kennel or stop what he's doing because its probably something bad and yet he'll just lay there.

Here I am - *not* getting up...
Anytime Justin wants Rufus to do something, Rufus listens immediately and does whatever he is told.

Rufus stares me awake in the middle of the night. I'm a super light sleeper and pretty much wake up at the drop of a pin. If Rufus decides he needs to go out in the middle of the night he comes to my side of the bed and just sits down and stares at me. Stares into my soul. Pretty soon I wake up and see Rufus 5 inches from my face staring at me. Once he sees me awake, he'll make a rather annoying grunting noise until I get up and let him out.

Yeah, I hear you. Still not moving.
See what I mean? Asshole.

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